To my surprise we got pregnant right away. I was scared but naively happy. I never thought something bad would happen. But it did. I miscarried at 5 weeks 1 day. Obviously I was upset but I wanted to try again. This was just a fluke.
I was approved by my doctor to try again that next month. We did and got pregnant again. I was a little more cautious this time but still very happy. It can't happen twice, can't it?? Yes, it can. This time earlier at 4 weeks 2 days. This miscarriage crushed me. I was convinced something was wrong with me.
It was the end of September and I was on a mission to figure out what was going on. My ob wouldn't do anything since I hadn't been trying for a year or had 3 documented losses. Stupid protocol. Thankfully my internist, that I have been going to since I was 16, listened and also thought something was wrong. She ran a TON of blood work and sent me to a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist (MFM) but I could not get in until mid December.
The blood work revealed a gene mutation. I have homozygous MTHFR A1298C mutation which can cause a deficiency in b vitamins because I am unable to process them like normal. Hence, why my B12 was so low a while ago. Luckily my homocysteine levels were normal. I was also ANA+ and ACA+.
When I met with the MFM, he told me that all three of those issues could cause blood clotting during pregnancy which most likely caused my two losses. He recommended waiting six months since my last loss before trying again. I should start daily baby aspirin and extra folic acid a month before we started. Then once we found out we were pregnant I would go on heparin (Lovenox) injections. He said if I did these things, I had a 80% chance of carrying to term. I was so relieved to have an answer.
So we waited till February 2011.
At the end of February we tried again. Got pregnant first cycle. Clearly getting pregnant is not our issue.
I called the doctor the day I got my BFP (big fat positive pregnancy test) and asked for the prescription. I had the understanding that I was going to start the shots at positive pregnancy test which is when most people I had read about had started. Well apparently my doctor wanted to wait until heartbeat had been established. I was not happy. I wanted the reassurance that I was doing something to prevent another loss. I even called my MFM on his cell to confirm he wanted to wait till heartbeat. He reassured me that the baby aspirin should be fine till heartbeat. So I was scheduled for an ultrasound in 2 weeks. Talk about a looooong two weeks.
On Monday, April 11th we went in for the ultrasound. Boy were we nervous. I had never made this far before and as far as I knew everything was fine but I couldn't help but worry. When the nurse started the ultrasound, I was glaring at the monitor. Having looked online at several ultrasounds, I knew something wasn't right. There was only a sac, no pole, no heartbeat. They said it was fine, I was just measuring 5 days behind. I had been tracking my cycles and knew when I ovulated within a day or two so hearing I was 5 days behind was hard to believe. I could not hold back the tears. Joe was very reassured about what the doctor was saying but I was not. They scheduled us another ultrasound for that Friday the 15th.
That Friday, I was...uh...I don't even know how to describe it. Nervous doesn't do it justice. Joe and I went in terrified but thankfully, we were able to see a heartbeat. I have never been so happy and relieved. I started the shots the next day.
Everything was going well until May 5th. I started spotting, which is how all the other miscarriages started. I called my ob and they gave me the usual, it can be normal, call if you start bleeding like a period. I didn't believe it. I just had a bad feeling. The bleeding did stop that day and I was able to head to northern Kentucky to visit with some college friends that Saturday. By Monday I was just starting to believe that it was a fluke and everything was fine but later that day the bleeding started back up. I was going crazy so I called my ob and demanded an ultrasound. They got me in the next day.
The ultrasound confirmed I was miscarrying again. I was 10 weeks 5 days but the baby hadn't developed much past my last ultrasound. We were\are devastated. I opted to have a D&C that Thursday so we could have the products tested for chromosome issues. The D&C went fine but the pathology lab in the hospital ruined part of the sample and the part that was left was not big enough to test with. My ob apparently ripped them a new one and they have changed procedure because of me. I am currently still debating on fighting the bill since the testing is the only reason why I had the D&C.
Since the testing was botched, the next step is to meet with the MFM again. We will also be meeting with a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) soon. I am hoping to try again in a couple of months and start the Lovenox shots at BFP. We'll see what the doctors say.
Emotionally I am ok. I think the hardest part is not know if we are going to be able to have kids of our own. If we knew we can't, we could just accept it and move on to adoption. But we don't know.
Ok. I think that is it for major events of the last year and half. I really wanted it documented and I'm glad I got it out. I am also wanting to document what happens from here on out on the baby front.
0 comments:
Post a Comment